After all of my videos about toxic relationships and how to manage them or avoid them, many of you reached out to see what you could do if you fear that you are the toxic person in your relationships.
First I just want to say that in most cases it’s not that one person is bad and the other is good, it’s simply just a bad combination. We can all have people in our lives who poke our buttons and easily upset us. We connect with certain people and don’t with others. That’s not something we can really avoid. However, if you feel that you have harmed good relationships in the past and want to know how to stop doing that, this video’s for you! Here are some tips to be better in our relationships.
1. Taking care of yourself.
2. Self esteem/confidence – positive self talk
3. Emotion regulation (story of an emotion – distraction techniques)
4. Getting professional help when you need it
5. Picking the right relationships to invest in
Some relationships don’t work. If you have always had a lot of conflict with this person, maybe that’s a sign that you should just walk away Also, healthy relationships are filled with, clear communication, healthy boundaries, balance in conversation (ie. asking how they are, and sharing your own struggles).
Also work to not act out of anger in the moment. Take a minute, breathe, wait until the issue isn’t as emotionally charged before you try to talk with them about it (but don’t wait more than a couple of days, it’s never healthy to not talk and just cut people off, that leaves us all alone). And last, be patient and kind to ourselves as we learn
DBT groups can be great to learn helpful techniques and practice them in session. Communicate to those in our lives what we are working on and what it may look or sound like for them. That way they can be on our side and understand what’s happening.
It can help to admit that you’ve had trouble in the past, give an example, and tell them that you want to be better in relationships. You just need a bit of patience and support while you work on it.
Link to my video with “the story of an emotion” tool: https://youtu.be/J2tr2dYEisM
My favorite video of the week: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGEY8IulWiA
A BIG THANK YOU to my Patreon Patrons! Without you, I couldn’t keep creating videos. xoxo https://www.patreon.com/katimorton
I’m Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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