The definition of abandonment is: When someone is completely left or utterly deserted.
Having a fear of this can be something many of us struggle with. I find this to be most common in my patients who have a been through a trauma in their life as well as those with borderline personality disorder.
Borderline Personality Disorder is a disorder where our mood can rapidly change and we can feel like it’s impossible to manage our emotions at all. Many call BPD like being an emotional burn victim because everything that happens can just feel like way too much!
Why do people leave us sometimes?
I think this happens for 2 main reasons. First, it can happen because we may manipulate people in order to ensure they stay. Meaning we can create scenarios where we need them to care for us, or create more drama than necessary in order to need them for emotional support. Whatever the case, by trying to hard to get them to stay we can actually wear them out and push them away. Second, we can be volatile. If we are feeling so scared of them leaving, and everything that’s happening in our life is just too much, we can lash out at those we care for most. This can cause us to say mean things in the moment, and hurt someone’s feelings when we really didn’t mean to. Sure we can try to say sorry afterward, but they may have already decided it’s time to go. But don’t worry! There are many things we can do to make this all feel better!
1. We can use the distress tolerance skill IMPROVE the moment.
2. We can use the emotion regulation skill “The Story of an Emotion”
Try out those tools, and trust me, you will feel more in control of your emotions and how you respond to others in no time! xox
As always, A BIG THANK YOU to my Patreon Patrons! Without you, I couldn’t keep creating videos. For more information please visit: https://www.patreon.com/katimorton
A BIG THANK YOU to my Patreon Patrons! Without you, I couldn’t keep creating videos. xoxo https://www.patreon.com/katimorton
I’m Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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