Trying to Find Happiness Apart from my ED

The-Happiness

Kati had advised me to make a list of non-ED related things that make me happy, so I figured that I should at least try it if she is going to be so nice and take the time to help me. So I have been working on creating this all day. It was quite a daunting challenge at first! The first things I kept thinking of were all ED thoughts. And I think that’s ok because when I get really into my ED after a rough patch of time, I feel like my ED talks louder than every other part of my brain put together. So I got accustomed to thinking that these things are the only things that could ever possibly be able to make me happy at a given point in time. I just overlook  other happiness possibilities because I am so so caught up in my ED. But once I started eliminating all of that ED stuff  as possibilites to make me happy, I felt like I don’t really have anything major to make me happy. So I had to start small with little things like playing with my cats. Then more little things kept coming and my list got surprisingly long! Then I even managed to move on to semi-major things.But I think it’s interesting that eventually I could think so many things when originally I couldn’t think of anything. I feel like my ED is such a large thing, that  it can overpower those individual little happy thoughts…make those little happy things seem almost trivial.   However, once I managed to shut my ED up for a tiny bit, the little things came together to make something really powerful on paper. I feel like all of those little happy thoughts  together can become strong and numerous enough to  overpower my ED once I decide to give them a chance. This idea is really powerful to me! If anyone else who is struggling decides to read this, I would really encourage you to try and make a happy list. Even if it’s not long or doesn’t have anything major on it…the happiness I can find in the small stuff is  giving  me a lot of hope for eventually being able to get better and find happiness for myself(when I was struggling to find any sort of hope at all). I hope this all makes sense…Thanks for the idea Kati <3

Comments

  1. Profile photo of Kati MortonKati Morton

    You are so amazing!! I am so happy to hear that that idea helped you:) its funny how we get so used to listening to our ED voice that we almost can’t hear our healthy voice.. But it is there!!! Thank you so much for sharing!! I have no doubt that this will help so many others! <3 xoxo

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