Dear Kati,
So I deal with (what I have recently come to terms with) an ED and I also struggle with self harm. I know that it would be in my best interest to go see a therapist about this and my parents and I are trying to find one, but my parents just think I want to go to one because of my anxiety. They have no idea that I struggle with an ED or self harm. They know that I used to self harm and sent me to a psychiatrist but she was a real bitch and I would leave there feeling worse than when I came in so they let me quite seeing her but they were also under the impression that I had stopped self harming and I had, for about 10 months and then I ‘relapsed’ (is that the correct term?). So back on topic, if I went to a therapist and I decided to tell them about my ED and self harm would the therapist have to tell my parents? I really don’t want to disappoint them. Plus if they find out then my mom will tell the WHOLE family (which I really can’t handle). So would whole doctor/patient confidentiality still be in play if I told the therapist about the ED and self harm???
the therapist is not allowed to tell your parents ánything (without a realease form that you would have ti sign), UNLESS you are under 18, in danger to hurt yourself (e.g. like killing yourself or hurting yourself so much that you should go to a hospital) or harm other people. From my experience most therapists try to really help you and try to avoid involving parents agains your will, since this only tends to make the situation worse. So I would really see her and tell her about your problems.. and she might refer to to another therapist who works more with ED patients... and she could just tell your parents that the other therapist would probably work better for you. From my point of view, your parents don't have to know anything :)
BUT, I think it´is better, if you told them or the therapist, that u struggle a bit around food nad eating right. This way, they could help u to stay on track with healthy food and especially avoid triggering situations which could act exactly against all the work you put in in therapy. But this is of course up to you. My parents didnt know for 6 years that I have and ED and found out on accident. Now then know, and I think, even though it is sometimes easier for me, because I don't need to hide so many things, and just throw up and if my mom hears it, I just go :"I couldnt resist it" and she know it's a disorder, and it doesnt change from one day to another. But on the other hand, she tries to cook healthy,so that I dont feel so guity after eating etc.... so it could help to let you parents know at least a bit. but again, it is completely up to you (if you are over 18).
Idk how it works when u r under 18, but Kati probably is gonna comment on this anyways and she will know :)
Hang in there. I am struggling to. And I know, one of the worst parts is not even the eating, but more the hiding everything u do! It is soooo hard.
Keep fighting! xoxo
I have to agree with Mags (comment above). As far as confidentiality goes, we as therapists, only have to tell your parents if you are a danger to yourself (suicidal) or others (homicidal). That is the only reason we would have to tell them anything, and even then we only tell them what they need to know. I would also talk to your therapist (when you find one that you like) and just ask what her policy is. Cause most importantly you need to feel safe and supported while seeing her and talking to her. Let me know how it goes!!! xoxox
Kati Morton recently posted..Secrets
I am also under 18, then why, in my situation, did my school counselor give me the choice between telling my mom or her telling my mom? Did I technically have to tell her?
If you are under 18 your parents do have the right to request any medical information that they may need..so they could request information for insurance purposes. When it comes to what is said between you and your therapist, the only things that she has to tell your parents about is if you are a danger to yourself (suicidal) or others (homicidal). Those are the rules that we as therapist have to abide by. So you are safe to talk about anything you need to and she will not share anything with your parents without your consent. I hope that helps!!
I'm under the age of 18 so do the same rules apply?
I answered the question above...just wanted to make sure you got the email letting you know I answered your question:) xoxo