It’s time again to write something down to kind of order my thoughts.
So study time is over and with this all the stress. My ED was really present these days and I even lost my hope and it was just like “okay, do what ever your ED tells you because you know that you can’t concentrate without it”. And I felt and still feel so horribly bad about this.
But now it’s nearly funny how fast things changed again. I gained back a certain serenity and also my strength to fight the ED. This was so nice to feel because I really thought all my progress was just lost and that I could never ever do it. I enjoy my life again.
But, unfortunately, the next stressfull situation is just about to come. I will go to Germany tomorrow and stay there for a week for working. This means STRESS all day long: I can’t eat when I want and my routine is still kind of important for me (and most of the times we just get to eat once in like 10 hours of work), I don’t even have the change to binge (which is good on the one hand but really freaks me out on the other my ED is just getting louder when it knows something is not even possible) and I have to eat the food they give us. And since this is an event catering company, they have such fatty and greasy food, honestly it’s just super hard to deal with.
Do you have any tips on how to deal with that? Oh and thanks to everybody here for being so supportive, especially Kati.
That can be really hard!! I am so sorry that you just survived one stressful situation and now you are going right into another:( Something that has helped some of my other clients is to pack your snacks. Pick up some apples and bananas and just get those travel peanut butters or something..do you think you could do that??? I know it it hard but that way you won't get super hungry and have the urge to binge at lunch. Also, when you aren't working, try to take care of yourself. Listen to motivating music and journal, or whatever helps you feel better:) Keep me posted!!! xoxox
Kati Morton recently posted..In between...
Oh my god, I just came back from my week of work and it was so different from what I expected!
So it was really hard work, I got up at 6 or 6:30 every day and finished work at 11 (but then there was also a bus ride home to the hotel) and I barely couldn't sit down during the day or take breaks. BUT, apparently this was helpful! I knew I had to eat when I was allowed to (breakfast before work, lunch around 2 and then it depended on the day) so I didn't care about the calories so much because I knew I would definitely need this energy. And I was also lucky as I was working in the tent where also this chinese wok was sold and wok is one of my safe foods and I love it :) So it was so much easier than with the normal food we get there. I still can't believe that I didn't binged once in a whole week! I can't even think of a time where I managed this! I must admit that not everything was perfect, sometimes I couldn't deal very well with dinner, but still I'm so surprised of myself. Unfortunately, or should I say of couse (?), the ED thoughts are still very powerful..so the nearer the last day came the louder they got, so I had a binge today when I came back. But I feel horrible with this and I'm conviced that I can get better. I loved these days where I just didn't think so much about my ED or calories and all that stuff, where I didn't feel the guilt after a binge or something and where I was just happy. So I hope the next days are going to be okay, because (haha again another stressfull situation) my roommate isn't here right now...and all alone it's always harder, but I'm feeling positively about the next time!