I am currently in therapy, but my parents do not know about my ED since I am 20 years old. However, I know that my mom read my ED journal. I am freaking out big time. I don’t have therapy until tomorrow and I have no idea what to do. I can’t believe she did that. I am so mad and terrified. I don’t know what to do she knows everything now. This is not how I wanted to tell her.
Hi Jackie, I’m so sorry your mom did that. It makes sense that you’re freaking out: you privacy was violated and now she knows so much. Your feelings are valid. I remember feeling similarly when my parents cleaned my room…searching and touching everything in my only safe space. That was one of the worst things I’ve been through. An idea that helped me was to created a box that I could control. I bought washi tape, snacks, juice, and random items to put in there. That box was mine and my parents couldn’t contaminate it. If your mom searches your room, maybe you can replicate the box in a small pouch or something you can keep with you. Even a small notebook that fits is a pocket or purse. You can put anything you want in it and hopefully start associating that object with safety and control. I hope this helps some.
Also, do you mind sharing how your therapy appointment went? I’d love to learn any tips to cope with feeling violated.