a few questions! ED, derealization, school
First of all I want to say that it was so nice meeting you, you are the best! <3 And I’m glad you like the bag 🙂 I have a few questions, sorry that it’s so long, I hope they don’t take up too much time!
What’s your opinion on trying to recover from an eating disorder by pretending that you don’t have it? I keep telling myself that I don’t have an eating disorder and that I can’t be scared of any foods, but I am. I’m so tired of having an ED, I just don’t want it anymore. I feel like I shouldn’t have any ED thoughts, because I’m at a healthy weight now and I don’t like my ED anymore. Can you recover by pretending that you don’t have it?
And when is it ‘safe’ to lose weight? I feel like I have gained way too much and I want to lose weight again (not until I’m underweight again, just a few kilos). Now I skip school a lot, because I think that I’m too fat to go outside. I just want to be skinnier, but not obsessed with what I eat and what I weigh. My doctor doesn’t want to refer me to a dietician, because he thinks that I don’t need to lose weight, because I’m at a ‘healthy weight’. Is there any way I can safely lose weight on my own? I’m afraid that I can’t stop once I start.
I was also wondering if derealization can go away. I have had it non-stop since August and I’m scared that it will never go away. I have C-PTSD, so that might be the reason for it. My old therapist told me that I needed to take meds (the psychiatrist lied about weight gain not being a side effect, so I never took them) and said that it will never go away if I don’t take them. But I did some research and in a lot of articles they say that there are no meds for it. What’s your opinion on this? Will it ever go away?
One more question: I have my english and german exam in 3 weeks (writing and reading exams). I skip school quite often, because I have no motivation and energy to do stuff or my anxiety is so bad that I can’t go outside. I don’t know how to prepare for these exams, because I have no concentration and motivation left to study. I also have to read about 7 books for english and 7 books for german in the next 2 months. I can’t take a break from school, because I just started it after a 2 year break. I am in special education, so I get 30 minutes extra for each exam. I have too many things going on and I’m feeling so drained. Do you have tips on how to survive the exams?
Thanks you so much for everything you do! I am super grateful for you! <3
XXX Maureen 🙂
I’m not Kati, but I do have some thoughts on your questions. In my experience, pretending your ED is not there does not really work. It sometimes helps a bit in the way that it might help to focus on other things and make food, body, and weight less important, but that’s about it. And from what you are asking in your second question, I think it’s not really taking your mind off food and weight. ED’s are not fun and they are very sneaky and hard to get rid off. However, they say it’s possible.
And for your second question: losing weight is a tricky business when are have (had) an ED. It is THE way to stay focused on food and weight and to be honest, I think it will be extremely hard to stop when you’ve lost the weight (as you already said), or it will trigger binges, or it will be both. Since you have a healthy weight, I think it’s not worth the risk. You say you are tired of having an ED, and I think becoming ok with your current weight will be way more helpful in achieving that than trying to lose weight.
I don’t know much about C-PTST, so I can’t help you with that.
But about your last question. Judging your written English, I am not expecting you to struggle with your English exam. I don’t know anything about your German skills, but from my experience, you can’t really prepare for those language exams. And for the books, are there any requirements for the books (do they need to be from a certain list?). There are many amazing English books that might really grab your attention and might make reading a lot less unachievable.
I hope this helped a bit,
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