This video is simply the first of many to address the issue of self-harm and cutting. I have heard from many of you that this is something that you have either dealt with personally or you have someone in your life who engages in this behavior and you do not know what to do. To begin the conversation I would like to focus on the therapeutic side of this and why it is that some people struggle with this behavior.
Cutting and/or self-harm is not something that has been given its own diagnosis, nor is it something that many therapists are actually trained to deal with. It is because of this lack of knowledge about and/or fear to even talk about it, that I believe we have so many young women struggling with it today.
The main reason that someone will cut is somewhat similar with the reason that someone has an eating disorder. They have many uncomfortable emotions, they do not have a healthy outlet for those emotions, and their body finds a way to let it out. It is because of this that cutting is not actually something that people do for the pain. They also do not do it because they like to, or even want to. They do it as a release to everything that they are feeling and cannot say. Many clients I have seen even describe it as an “out of body experience” and that they kind of disassociate while they are cutting. This reminds me a lot of those who suffer from binging. I know a lot of my binge eaters, EDNOS and bulimics say that they feel out of touch with themselves when they binge. Also, the same way that binge eaters do, many cutters immediately feel remorse for their actions and try to hide their cuts or scratches. It is because of this that many do not seek help for it and suffer in silence. There is a lot of shame that is associated with cutting and because most cutters are not actually trying to commit suicide, they worry what people will think when they see their scars and scabs. They usually bandage them right away, only to later pick at them to recreate the release that they had from the initial cut. It can be said that many crave cutting the way an person with an ED craves their ED behavior.
It is my belief that these parallels between ED and cutting behavior are why many struggle with both. Just like any topic I discuss, it is not meant to completely define the issue, but it is intended to start a conversation. The more we can talk about these things that we struggle with and try to keep hidden, the freer we will become. Share how you have worked to stop cutting and/or what it was that lead you to cut in the first place. Let’s be conversation starters. Let’s work towards a healthy mind AND a healthy body.
This was such an informative video and you explained it very well! I haven't learned how to stop self-harming yet, I've done it since I was about fourteen. When I'm in that frame of mind it usually happens so fast that I don't even think about what I'm doing, it's like when I binge. When I starve I'm constantly thinking about what I'm doing, but with cutting and b/p it just happens so quick I don't think about anything and by the time I'm done I don't feel bad or cry because I feel relieved and so much better. It's kind of like a high for me. Is cutting or self-harm really considered an addiction like some people say. Because I only do it when I'm extremely depressed or angry at myself. It's exactly like you said, it's a huge release!
I don't really see it as an addiction but just like you said, as more of a coping mechanism to deal with uncomfortable emotions. The way to try and stop it from happening as often is to start writing down what was happening or what you were feeling when you cut or even when you just had the urge. Once we know what triggers you we can work on ways to either avoid certain scenarios or better prepare you deal with them... I hope that makes sense!! I am so happy you found my site:) <3
Kati Morton recently posted..CUTTING...The what and why of Self-Harm
I know you posted this a few months ago, but I'm one of those "new comers" who is just now getting to some of your older videos. I really appreciate this video on self-harm; I think you're right, it is a real issue and one that needs to be understood a lot more. One of the things I would like to add is that self-harm, in whatever form (not just cutting), can affect people of any age. Many times we think about it as something only teenagers do but the reality is that this unhealthy coping skill is used by people of all ages and backgrounds. It's something that, as you said, is very shameful for those of us who do it or have done it; and I think the older we are the more we beat ourselves up about it because we feel like we should be "over it". The reality is that we'll be "over it" once we deal with the issues surrounding it's purpose. This isn't something to be ashamed about...it's just something that we have to learn to understand and hopefully, in so doing, overcome. Thanks for shedding some much needed light on the issue.
I think I may have to do a video about age and self harm, as well as EDs. I know that many people struggle to reach out for help when they feel they are "too old" to be struggling with it. Thank you so much for pointing this out:) Also, I am so glad that you found my site!!! <3
Kati Morton recently posted..Falling behind.
Hi Kati, your videos are just amazing and really helpful!!
I, myself, am cutting since about 5 years now and really would like to stop. I think, I'm also having an ED, so I watch your videos to get more information on everything.
Thank you so much for your help!!
I am so so glad that you are finding my videos helpful :) Keep checking back!! I put out at least one video every week!! xoxo Let me know if there is something you would like me to make a video about :) xoxo